Poltergeist activity & broken hearts

         Is it related to the fact that there seems to be a "ghost" in my home?  In front of my boyfriend & I some poltergeist activity has occurred, such as a mannequin head falling off my bookshelf without any aid (we debunked walking [I even jumped around and shook it, stayed still, & the air conditioner had a cone of hot air around it so we know it was in a spot where the air couldnt reach]).  Then I'll leave the room and find bits of garbage that I PUT in the trash on top of my TV and book shelf.  It's weird but I ignore it and throw it away again just to walk back in to see it on top of something again.  Then, last night there was a loud metallic crash by my foot.  I realized it was the sound of my safe being hit - but there was a laptop on top of it...so nothing could have hit it. o_O  Also, my foot wasn't touching anything nor the comforter which was my initial reaction.  I ignored that too seeing as how I didn't have evidence.  Then I was watching Destination truth and suddenly I saw something white fall off from next to the TV, I thought it was a piece of paper blown off until I heard the jingle of stables.  It was a box of staples in a plastic bag, & the air doesn't even touch it.  I SAW it fall.  RIGHT in front of my eyes.  It's like, "Pay Attention to me!"  Hell to the no, quittit.  It's weird.

     Perhaps that is why I am so heart broken.  I still think about my ex, especially when he had added me to his yahoo profile almost a yr after we broke up.  I tolerated it for a few weeks, then wrote on his page something along the lines of "You never should have lost me." or something & deleted him.

     I loved that man, he was a 10/10 out of a faulty human being.  I really really loved him, but it hurt too.  So that is why I am not with him anymore.  Love is not supposed to hurt ever.

      Man, it hurt so much, just being away from him hurt but I couldn't stand living with him just a few days.  I would have rather lived with my family & my crazy abusive sister who wouldn't stop attacking me at the time. I just packed up and left while he was at work, he was mean.  But I cleaned up and put my stuff that I gave him in his closet instead of stealing it...though I held on to the stupidest thing for a while.  A foam soap dispenser I had gotten him when we first started dating.  It was annoying that he only had it in the kitchen.

    Of course when I took it, it was empty anyway.

     Man, sex with him was so awesome.  Sex with someone you're passionate about is so...fantastic and magical.  You just want to do it over and over, & even if they have bad breath & are starting to smell like old socks from sweating you want to go again.  Like a drug.  It was just a drug.

   His love was a drug.  It hurts that he won't close these open wounds, he doesn't care about me at all does he?  We dated 9 months and after he dumped me after getting mad that I moved out I went into preterm labor and popped out a little fetus which I FLUSHED down the toilet.  It was stuck to a tampon.  I couldn't pee right for a fucking week.  It was so embarrassing, yet I was glad because I did not want to have a baby with him.

   Maybe I was too cruel... I don't know...maybe he was?  Maybe we both were.  All I know is that it was an emotional rollercoaster, and my heart still aches.  

    Peter I care a lot for and I love him in a different way from Angel, Angel was just infatuation.  Love is about butterflies not lightening bolts, and the thing about butterflies is that at first they're eggs, then caterpillars, then they become butterflies.