FFFUUU Sick

   So a number of shitty things have been happening to me lately.  Other than the alleged torn rotator cuff I've still been in a lot of pain.  I've been smoking until I don't care about to pain, or meditating, gorging on xanax...well not really, I take Xanax sparingly.  Prescribed TYVM.

    Today after I got my xray and went to the store to look for the right decorative tissue paper (failed), I went to the doctor for an emergency blood drawing.  He weighed me, I lost 4 lbs in the week or two, nice... then he took my blood pressure which is usually below 120 over 70 or something, and it was 159 over something.  Obviously it was due to the pain.

    He said he thought that I should go but I really don't want to unless the tests say that's what it is.  I was in the hospital for 4 days last time, but he assured me that he would take care of me if I went to his hospital.  The Dr's last time couldn't agree on anything & had no idea what caused the pancreatitis, I'm not a drinker or anything.  But because of my Wilson's Disease my liver isn't fantastic.  I don't abuse drugs, I try to eat healthy, this is BULLSHIT.  But it shows how strong and tolerant I am of pain, especially w/ the blood pressure.

   This ...fucking...HURTS.  AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH.

   Ok, ok, I'm fine Im fine.

    So I bought some dollar red hair color as an experiment.  I really wanted demi permanent stuff but I figured that dollar store crap would be more demi than perm since it's not bleaching anything.  I need to give myself a hair cut... sigh... Well I guess I'll dye my hair first (bought 2 containers) then after dying if it's not all screwed up go get it cut at a CHEAP place.  This one place I went wanted 27 bucks for a cut, then 76 for a dye and a cut.  Fuck that, supercuts or something does them for like 15 dollars.  I just need like a trim, but they might need to even out the old layers so I figure a cut would be fine.  It's almost to the middle of my back so screw it, ya know?

   So I have these art pieces due, they're tissue paper flowers (but they're very elaborate & take almost an hour each one to make).  I promised I'd get it done before Sept 1st, but the colors she requested are kind of hard to find.  Dark green (I imagine hunter green), cranberry, beige, & polka dots.  I'm going to have to invest in this big thing of tissue paper I think, hopefully it'll have it.  I in the meantime bought some cranberry decorative color maple leaves & sorta ... well I don't know what they are...it's like cranberry colored thick grass that goes into floral arrangements too.

    Then I need to get more wire, floral wire and some jewelry wire, more tissue paper, pipe cleaners (which I have to use at least 3 of the THICK ones braided to create a nice base, looks the best in black).

    Siiiigh, I get underpaid for it but, it's going to make my potential future grandmother in law happy.

            *facepalm*  what'd I get myself into?  If I go into the hospital I'll let her down.  FFUUU